In 2021, I shot an installment of my Unretouched Self Portraits series at my paternal great-grandma’s house in Brevard, North Carolina. It had just gone on the market after her passing. I wanted to capture the place where I’d spent so many afternoons, sleepovers with cousins, and family holiday parties before it belonged to a new family and new memories.
The portraits were much different than my usual style of the time - they were simple, quiet, and startlingly intimate.
This planted a little idea seed. A couple years later, I shot a self portrait at my husband’s Grandma Ruth Husar’s house in Amherst, Ohio. Over the years I’ve felt and seen so much love there that I wanted to capture and remember always. I called it My Husband’s Home.
My own upbringing was transient, jumping from state to state state, losing more and more belongings with each move. James’ family has deep roots in homes that have stayed in the family through generations. It fascinates me. It feels like all their family history is localized in one place. I was granted full access to browse their archive of heirlooms as much and whenever I wanted. A trip upstairs to the attic or downstairs to the basement can take me back three generations.
There’s a historian streak in the family. I first saw it in Grandma Ruth, through her meticulous labeling and dating of her items in storage. When I uncovered James’ great-great-grandmother Minerva Hasenflue’s diaries from the 1800s, I saw where Grandma Ruth got her talent for record-keeping.
And ultimately I see this tendency in James’ mother Sue, the one who finds this documentation to share with me, whose appreciation for them is contagious.
Last Winter when we were in Ohio for Sue’s birthday, she said, “on the way to dinner, I’ll take you by Minerva’s old farm.” This was the first I’d heard of it. From that quick drive-by on the highway just as the sun went down, I could see it was beautiful. I could tell how much Sue loved it in the way she talked about it. She hadn’t wanted her mom to sell it.
I knew I had to shoot it. Sue had the new owner’s name and I had Google, and I realized I could simply ask. I found his details and wrote him a letter.
To my total shock, I received a gracious yes. James and I booked a trip for the following June.
One of my NYC besties Becky Leung moved to Cleveland a few years ago. I could still see her twice a year on family trips, so I allowed it. She’s a fascinating, multi-hyphenate creative. She’s had a burgeoning interest in art direction over the years. I’ve been lucky enough to collab on a few shoots with her, including My Husband’s Home. Since the farm shoot built upon that, I reached out and she joined up.
We pulled reverent, stoic haunted Victorian portrait mixed with Ethel Cain southern gothic vibes for our Pinterest board.
Not only does Becks have an eye for composition, she has a critical eye for posing. I love when she poses me. She literally keeps me on my toes. She contorts me in these positions that I’m seconds away from falling out of, but when I can hold it, it’s the most fantastic and energetic shot every time.
As soon as we arrived, I walked the property with the owner, planning out my shots with my iPhone camera along the way. Then James and I put our shots in order based on the path of the sun using the Sun Seeker app.
Sue came with us and stepped in as our producer. James and I worked out our math with the number of shots vs the hours of daylight we had. Sue kept us on time at 15 minutes per shot.
It was such a hot day. All my shoot days this Summer were in the upper 90s, the hottest days of the year.
James’ sister Jenny came and delivered us from the heat with delicious cold drinks.
Sue sourced the wardrobe for me, uncovering so many gems I’d never seen in all my squirreling around in their storage, including this blue tea dress from the 1800s that she let me take home for my own. I’ve built up a modest collection of gorgeous family vintage in this way.
She also unearthed a piece I’d been crossing my fingers for, Grandma Ruth’s wedding dress. It was an honor to be granted access to such a precious piece. I love its back buttons and lace sleeves.
I love these two action shots because you’d never expect that for each one, it took 300 frames just to get the one select.
Don’t ask me where I find the energy for all the running, it’s my demonic shoot possession.
I’m so grateful to the farm owner for their overwhelming generosity. Not only did they allow me onto the property, they didn’t bat an eye at my unconventional request. I had free roam to shoot privately and undeterred.
Nothing but love and gratitude to the family who not only inspired all this, but produced it with me.
This little series seedling of homes in my husband’s family means a whole lot to me. I feel like I’m documenting what it feels like to join another family, the way you learn about them as you go. I’m engaging with their history in my way, making art that bridges my life to theirs.
